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[imfollowinghim]

[Bucky's been avoiding announcing that he's back, and that he remembers. He's still uncomfortable being out in public with people staring at him, even though he has been out more than he had been when he first got back. Morgana cut his hair, and he's showering and shaving regularly, so he looks a little more like himself (except he's not wearing combat uniforms, and he's still covering up his left arm with long sleeves and a glove), but there's still something tense and on edge about him, something hollow and dead in his expression.

But something about Arthas' announcement, his manifesto, that because he's been wronged he's allowed to take this ship and everyone on it down with him makes something stir in him, something that sounds like Zola's saw and the hiss of the cryo pod and Pierce slapping him in the face, and it's hot and cold and angry, and he doesn't want to keep hiding. But he also doesn't know how to reconcile the idea that this is happening because wardens failed, because the system failed, and those people are long gone.

There's a lot he should probably say about himself, too, but Steve's already covered it. Everyone knows what happened, and there's a part of him that's still angry about that.]

i'm back. dillon and jean made me remember.

i'm still a warden. [Even if he's not sure he should be.] it's been a long time, for me.

[A really, really long time.]

[Filtered to Mickey, Jimmy, Stiles, Kira, Mason, Ben, Lydia, and Motorcycle Boy]

sorry.

[For not remembering, or weirding them out. He probably owes them more of an explanation as well, but he can't find the words of it any more than he could for the rest of the ship.]

[Private to Dillon and Jean]

thanks.

[Warden Filter]

who's taking responsibility for arthas?

Comments

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[thelastbullet]

For what?

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[imfollowinghim]

[It takes an unreasonably long time for him to think of what he wants to say to this. He'd never been great with being honest about how he felt about serious things, but now it's... impossible.]

i couldn't remember specifics.

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[thelastbullet]

I don't give a fuck about specifics, Bucky.

Warden Filter

[formerself]

He's in Zero right now. Someone called Lydia got made his temp warden.

[And those pairings...seem to be legit, regardless of the weird source??]

Warden Filter

[imfollowinghim]

[Well. That's... not really helping him feel less like he needs to get involved here, which is. Fine.

Whatever else he's still missing, at least his overprotective instincts still seem to be working properly.]

thanks.

[americasdirtiest]

its ok? u didnt do nething

[imfollowinghim]

i know.

[ Warden Filter ]

[leavetreadmarks]

I've been annoying the fuck out of him lately. We were temp paired a few months ago.

[ Warden Filter ]

[imfollowinghim]

what's the point of provoking him more?

[ Private : Video ]

[warisart]

[Ben, who is ever and always deliberate, pointedly replies on video. He would go find him if he thought it would be better but for now, this will have to do.

He is utterly serious.]

You have absolutely nothing to apologize for, Bucky.

[ Private : Text ]

[imfollowinghim]

[Ben, he figured, would be one of the harder people to face. It's why he'd deliberately tried to stay away from him once he'd first gotten his memories back, why he'd gone to Morgana before him or Helena or Steve, and hearing it say that makes it all the more apparent to him that he made the right choice staying away.

It's good to hear, but it hurts, too, and he can't bring himself to switch on the video.]

you don't know that.

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[lydiascreams]

[Honestly, she was so relieved to see him, both for himself and for Steve, she didn't even mind the weird.]

What for?

private, text

[imfollowinghim]

I was confused & didn't remember much.

[maced_eggs]

What're you sorry about, mate? Wilson? Can I call you Willy?

[Guess who ignores all other parts of the post in favor of the part addressed to him?]

[imfollowinghim]

it's bucky, mason.

[adelphoktonos]

No. [Excuse you, Bucky. You're not just a warden.] You are still my warden.

[imfollowinghim]

i'm still your warden.

[Just a simple confirmation, maybe for the sake of both of them. Even if he's not sure he deserves to be.]

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[punched_hitler]

[Steve stares at the screen, and probably writes this message and deletes it at least five times before he finally just hits send.]

Of course you are.

[A warden, stupid.]

private, text

[imfollowinghim]

[Bucky's not sure what to say to that - not with anyone, but even less so with Steve - so after a long pause, he just ignores it.]

are you affected by what's going on?

["Do you have Admiral powers", he means.]

private

[velocette]

It's not a thing you need to apologize to me for. You're not the first person to come back and find everything upside down.

...But what was it like, to have someone put your memories back?

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[imfollowinghim]

hard.

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[orderfromchaos]

anytime

i mean that

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[imfollowinghim]

let's hope there doesn't have to be a repeat performance.

Private; Text

[voluntaryapnea]

[He has no idea why Bucky is apologizing.]

You seriously don't need to apologize to me for anything.

Private; Text

[imfollowinghim]

okay.