Bucky Barnes (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
imfollowinghim) wrote2014-09-09 07:50 pm
imfollowinghim) wrote2014-09-09 07:50 pm
eighteen ✪ voice & spam
[Hello, Barge. Did you think you were done with coma announcements today?
You were wrong.]
Helena's in a coma. [Which explains why she wasn't at Basic this morning, at least. Bucky had checked on her right after and found her sleeping in her room, so now here we are.]
I'm not bringing her to the infirmary, but I'll keep an eye on her until she wakes up.
[He lets out a tired sigh, and though you can't see it, he's definitely running his hands through his hair, digging his fingernails into his scalp.]
Are we missing anyone else?
[Open Spam]
[This has not been a good week.
Of course, it's not really the worst week he's ever had, so he sort of feels stupid for being irritated by it. This could be worse. This could be a lot worse, but it's still hard to get excited about yelling at people in the pouring rain in the CES while they run up and down a hill at five in the morning when you've gotten maybe an hour or two of sleep the night before, especially when you know you don't have to.
He's not at war anymore. He knows that.
But his nightmares are getting worse, not better. Instead of the familiar blend of memories and horrible possibilities, he wakes up feeling terrified beyond belief, and with no memory as to why. It's bad enough some nights that he spends the rest of it awake and miserable in his own room so he's not keeping Steve up (even though he knows his friend probably isn't sleeping), and sometimes, he's been in the CES running for hours before his "recruits" are up and out of bed.
And he feels cold all the time, even huddled in his Commandos jacket and one of the flannel shirts Stiles got him, plus a t-shirt, no matter where he is on the Barge.
Maybe he's just getting sick.
Whatever's happening, he does his best to just ignore it. If he focuses on the task at hand, he can get through this the way he's gotten through everything, even though on Monday, he calls Lydia Oswalt (a kid who'd been killed by shrapnel not ten minutes after they'd gotten off the landing craft in Anzio) when he's yelling at her to keep up, and then he can't remember the name of a movie he's seen sixteen times on Tuesday, and he has an entire conversation with Mason before realizing wait, he's not Dernier.
They're caught out in a thunderstorm during Basic on Wednesday, and when lightning strikes a little too close to where they are, for a good ten seconds, he's back in Italy, because that's not lightning, it's a shell, and if they don't take cover, they're all getting blown to hell.
Bucky realizes where he is and who he's with moments later, and it leaves him shaky and uncomfortable, so the session gets cut short, and he hauls himself back to Steve's room to borrow his shower, since the water actually stays one temperature.
He's distant and strange for most of the rest of the day, and while he doesn't try to avoid anyone who was there this morning, he doesn't make an effort to seek them out, either.]
[ooc: Bucky's door to the bridge related symptoms are starting to rear their head more noticeably. Right now, he's mostly having night terrors and suffering from general confusion, which means he's often starting to look like he's having something similar to a bad PTSD flashback or just suffering from memory loss, so consider this a blanket warning for something that might come up in his threads. Feel free to encounter him whenever, whenever, and old/new cr, multiples and fuzzy time are all appreciated. c:]
You were wrong.]
Helena's in a coma. [Which explains why she wasn't at Basic this morning, at least. Bucky had checked on her right after and found her sleeping in her room, so now here we are.]
I'm not bringing her to the infirmary, but I'll keep an eye on her until she wakes up.
[He lets out a tired sigh, and though you can't see it, he's definitely running his hands through his hair, digging his fingernails into his scalp.]
Are we missing anyone else?
[Open Spam]
[This has not been a good week.
Of course, it's not really the worst week he's ever had, so he sort of feels stupid for being irritated by it. This could be worse. This could be a lot worse, but it's still hard to get excited about yelling at people in the pouring rain in the CES while they run up and down a hill at five in the morning when you've gotten maybe an hour or two of sleep the night before, especially when you know you don't have to.
He's not at war anymore. He knows that.
But his nightmares are getting worse, not better. Instead of the familiar blend of memories and horrible possibilities, he wakes up feeling terrified beyond belief, and with no memory as to why. It's bad enough some nights that he spends the rest of it awake and miserable in his own room so he's not keeping Steve up (even though he knows his friend probably isn't sleeping), and sometimes, he's been in the CES running for hours before his "recruits" are up and out of bed.
And he feels cold all the time, even huddled in his Commandos jacket and one of the flannel shirts Stiles got him, plus a t-shirt, no matter where he is on the Barge.
Maybe he's just getting sick.
Whatever's happening, he does his best to just ignore it. If he focuses on the task at hand, he can get through this the way he's gotten through everything, even though on Monday, he calls Lydia Oswalt (a kid who'd been killed by shrapnel not ten minutes after they'd gotten off the landing craft in Anzio) when he's yelling at her to keep up, and then he can't remember the name of a movie he's seen sixteen times on Tuesday, and he has an entire conversation with Mason before realizing wait, he's not Dernier.
They're caught out in a thunderstorm during Basic on Wednesday, and when lightning strikes a little too close to where they are, for a good ten seconds, he's back in Italy, because that's not lightning, it's a shell, and if they don't take cover, they're all getting blown to hell.
Bucky realizes where he is and who he's with moments later, and it leaves him shaky and uncomfortable, so the session gets cut short, and he hauls himself back to Steve's room to borrow his shower, since the water actually stays one temperature.
He's distant and strange for most of the rest of the day, and while he doesn't try to avoid anyone who was there this morning, he doesn't make an effort to seek them out, either.]
[ooc: Bucky's door to the bridge related symptoms are starting to rear their head more noticeably. Right now, he's mostly having night terrors and suffering from general confusion, which means he's often starting to look like he's having something similar to a bad PTSD flashback or just suffering from memory loss, so consider this a blanket warning for something that might come up in his threads. Feel free to encounter him whenever, whenever, and old/new cr, multiples and fuzzy time are all appreciated. c:]
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[Iris looks stressed herself, and there's a grey cat insistently photobombing her transmission.]
...Would you mind if I came to see 'er?
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Yeah, that's fine.
[Private]
I'm gonna keep the door locked most of the time she's out, though. We don't need some psycho trying to bug her.
[Like whatever whackjob had ripped her apart during the Joker's occupation.
(He's pretty sure he knows who it is, even if Helena had tried to keep it a secret. There's really only one person who would do something like that, freaking out on fear gas or not.)]
[private]
I'm not going to worry. I'm not. Aye, keeping it locked's a good plan; I just - me and Helena were both sitting with Mira. Talking to 'er, you know. Whether it actually 'elps or not's anyone's guess, but you feel like you 'ave to do something, don't you?
Thank you, Bucky love.
[private]
No problem.
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Can I...come see her later?
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(Ignoring that they're both technically dead, anyway.)]
Sure. I'll let you in.
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...does anyone have any idea how long she could be...
[Unconscious? Sick? She doesn't even know how to describe it...only that she feels sick thinking about Helena being down like that.]
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She'll be okay. [He even sounds like he means it, mostly. Assuming she does wake up instead of vanishing, she'll be okay.
But if she vanishes, well.
Let's try not to think about that.]
[spam] just have ALL THE THREADS with steve
He is worried to hell and back because he knows something is up - it's impossible to miss, he's pretty sure, even to someone that doesn't know Bucky as well as he does.
And Steve does know Bucky as well as he does, so. There's that.
But he's already tried to talk to him once, and it didn't work out so great. Plus, there is this tiny ridiculous part of him that's worried he triggered this, somehow, by bringing up the subject in the first place. (Yeah, he's pretty sure that's ridiculous... but what if it's not?) So he doesn't say a word - about that stuff - and instead just makes a sound around his bite of sandwich when Bucky comes in, pointing with his elbow to the plate on the desk to let him know the sandwiches are (obviously) to share.
He's got something for Bucky, too, but that can wait a minute.]
[spam] I see no problem with this!!
Maybe.
But he shakes it off, takes in the sandwiches, and debates eating versus taking a shower and changing into dry clothes. It's a frustratingly cyclical debate, because he's hungry, but he hates being in damp, heavy clothes, especially if he has the immediate option to change.
Food ends up winning out, mostly because it's right there, and Steve's made the effort and all, so he helps himself to one and backs off a bit to make sure he's not dripping on the other ones.]
Thanks. [He means it, even if he looks tired, maybe even hollowed out, and takes a bite of the sandwich before he can debate his decision any further.]
[spam] oh good
He also doesn't care if Bucky drips on the food - they've eaten worse than some soggy sandwiches before - but when he backs off and says thanks, Steve just nods and hums, finishing his bite.] I figured someone'd eat them. Long morning.
[Because he knows you're not sleeping - and you're right, Bucky. He's not sleeping much either.
In the meantime, he grabs a towel from the desk - a dry one, there's a wet one hanging over the back of the chair that he already used - and holds it out if Bucky wants it.] Guess it's not Basic unless there's mud at some point.
[spam]
He doesn't know what changed, and it bothers him, and he doesn't want to talk about it. Steve not mentioning that he practically hit the deck when the lightning hit is desperately appreciated.
So he manages his own little hum of agreement, even though aside from the fact that he's been up since three, it had actually been sort of a short morning. He's just grateful none of his students/trainees/whatever they are hadn't asked too many questions before they'd left the CES.
Bucky takes a bite of his sandwich, chews and swallows before accepting the towel, because he's hungry even if it also kind of feels like he doesn't have much of an appetite right now. Then the sandwich gets set aside so he can properly dry off his face and hair.] Yeah, well, they'd better get used to it now. You never know what kinda port we're gonna get tossed into.
[It's a joke, but a feeble one. For a couple reasons.
Once he's a little less damp - and after he's run his hand through his hair so it looks a little less wild - he takes another bite of his sandwich before starting to head for the bathroom.]
I'm gonna shower. Don't eat my sandwich.
[That's a little more recognizable as a joke, both because of the tone of voice he manages and the fact that there's plenty of food to keep Steve busy while he tries to warm up and clean off.
And then he's maybe going to try to nap on the couch for a while or something, because this whole thing has just left him feeling worn out in a way that feels almost completely foreign.]
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But this is important. More important than her ego. And she wants to be a good Warden. She wants to prove to him and everyone she can do this.]
My inmate, Andrew.
He's in a coma, as well.
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He also doesn't hate her, and he's not otherwise carrying a grudge or anything, so he's maybe a lot more certain in having this conversation than she is.]
Kinda sounds like that's going around.
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Of course, she's still glad he's talking to her outside of training. As long as the two of them can, at the very least, be mature, then it won't make things awkward for the friends they have in common.]
Yeah. I haven't been paying close attention, so I don't know if this is a pattern or not. For more than one person to go into a coma at the same time.
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No one's fault, nothing anyone can do about it.
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spam
His focus doesn't narrow when he runs: his breathing never really comes short, so it's easy to pay attention to what's going on around him, to the pack of people trying to move as one. It means he sees when Bucky reacts, and something twists in the pit of his stomach when he notices it.
As everyone trudges for the exit, he hangs back, hand brushing Bucky's arm to keep him back, too.]
Hey.
[What was that sounds too abrupt, so he rolls it to the side, shrugs.] You okay?
spam
It's embarrassing. It's annoying, and as glad as he is to know his instincts haven't gone anywhere, just in case, just because maybe he'll need it again... this felt like a little more than that. Like he'd actually thought he was there, and it's not the first time it's happened.
So he wipes his hand over his forehead and lets out a resigned sigh, running his fingers through his wet hair and fixes Scott with a look that's hopefully composed enough to not arouse further suspicion.]
Yeah. Fine. We should get going. [There's another rumble of thunder somewhere close by, and he feels his jaw clench before he can stop himself. It's nothing. It's not a shell.]
Spam
And while Bucky might not be avoiding anyone intentionally, he also notices that he's kept his distance. So he makes his way to his friend's cabin and knocks on the door lightly, waiting.]
Spam
Except he couldn't turn his brain off enough to even doze, so he's thumbing through a beat up paperback copy of Journey to the Center of the Earth when Stiles knocks. The knock makes him think it's not Steve - they mostly come and go between each other's rooms without announcing it's happening - and it probably rules out Ben, too, but it could be a lot of other people.
So he hoists himself off the bunk, answers the door, and is more or less pleasantly surprised to see Stiles there.
More or less meaning he doesn't want this to be about what happened this morning, but there's a good shot it is.]
Hey. [He takes a step back for Stiles to step in if he wants to, holding the door.]
Spam
The only door he never bothers knocking on before entering a room is Scott's. The two of them have never bothered with formality -- much like Steve and Bucky.
He offers Bucky a small smile when the man opens the door and he steps inside the room, rubbing the back of his neck. He tends to struggle with the ways that he worries about people -- he doesn't generally know the right words to say or what to do. He just tends to hover and try to crack jokes to break the tension even if the worry is clear on his face to everyone who knows him well.]
Hey. What's up?
Spam
And this isn't the front lines, but he's still more stressed out here than he ever was back home.]
Nothing much. [He can definitely guess why Stiles is here, but for the time being, he's playing it cool and not calling attention to it, because he really doesn't want to talk about what happened to him back there.]
How about you?
Spam
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