imfollowinghim | three ✪ voice

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three ✪ voice

[Bucky sounds a little more level than he did in his last post, back to his normal, not oh god I suddenly have superpowers self, and he sounds more vaguely amused/annoyed by the flood than anything else.]

I guess as far as first floods go, that coulda been a lot worse. [And that's all he really wants to say on the subject for right now, if that's cool with the rest of you.]

[Private to Ben]

Hey, kid. I've got your file. [And he's thumbed through it a little and holy shit, your life :|] You got anywhere you wanna meet up and talk? [He figures you're likely to agree to whatever he asks you to do, right off the bat, but he wants to give him the option to pick where he'd like to sit down and talk about stuff.]

[Private to Steve]

I think your friend Nicole has a crush on me.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[With the exception of having access to the actual medications, it was convenient for Manticore to train its soldiers to be able to maintain themselves until or unless a doctor became available to do so; Ben is surprisingly good about being forthcoming with injuries or maladies that he cannot control.

It's the ones he knows he might get into some kind of trouble for exhibiting that will, in the long run, be the problem if any. He considers what he's been told about his abilities and, if he believes Bucky or has any opinion on it at all, it's not readily visible.

Instead.] I have been informed that I am assigned here for social and moral retraining.

[That's more formally put than he's heard anyone else say it, including the Admiral, and really he's not all that sure that putting it that way is any better than saying you're here to be redeemed because you fucked up while you were alive, and now you were here for a second chance.]

That's right. Once you're done here, you can go back home, or somewhere else, and have a life again.

[Hey, talk to Narvin. He was speaking Ben's language at the time.

Ben hesitates. That part is new.]

...Sir. [And now he does look at Bucky, steadily, uncertainty close behind. Home? Somewhere else? Have a life again? He remembers his unit mates telling him these same things, he remembers how nothing made sense, he remembers being alone. He's not sure why he's supposed to want that, and he definitely doesn't want Manticore, so he's not sure what to do with this news.]

[Bucky nods, seeing that uncertainty and trying to alleviate it a little, even though he was still sort of feeling like he was taking complete shots in the dark trying to figure out what was good for the kid and what wasn't.

(And yes Ben, while you're technically the same age as Bucky, you're still a kid to him, because that's sort of how he rolls.)]

I know it's kinda a weird thing to wrap your mind around, but I promise, havin' your own life that doesn't involve killing people's pretty nice. [Not that Bucky had hated being a soldier. He liked his job, and he was good at it, and while it was hard to really feel all that bad about killing Nazis or HYDRA agents, it'd still be nice to be able to go back to something a little more normal, or something.

Or really, at least he was killing guys who deserved it, instead of ritualistically sacrificing people because he was a little deranged.]

And you don't have to call me sir. Bucky's fine.

[There's another moment of hesitation, a clear pause to consider this; there's unmistakeable intelligence behind the bright brown eyes, but hindered by ignorance. In many ways he is still a kid, despite all the tactical knowledge and power programmed into him; he's certainly not about to argue that particular point, not when there are so many other important decisions in front of him.

The peace and his few interactions aboard the Barge has softened some of Ben's paranoia, but he still can only decide this must be a test. They're still looking for signs in him of whatever flaw it was that originally led his unit to escape. He won't give it to them.]

I expect once I have completed retraining I will be returned to Manticore. I do what I was trained to do. Sir. [This last is just deliberate enough that it's possible it's a kind of reprimand, but far too even and blank to be able to say for sure.]

[... Yeah he wasn't buying that, since everything in your file pointed to you wanting to get the hell away from them. And in general, Bucky wasn't really a fan of the whole shadowy organizations breeding kids to be assassins thing.]

We'll worry about that when we get there. [Which. Probably wouldn't be for a while. So. Time to change the subject.]

How do you feel about getting a job here?

[Ben does want to get away from them; he vacillates between hating their control over his life and not knowing what to do with his own control over it, but fear wasn't the sole reason he followed his unit away from them. It was a very, very large part, the majority, but not the only.

Jobs. Ben knows about jobs. Zack used to get them for him and tell him it was his duty now, only he'd also told Ben that there IS no duty now. He tilts his head.]

If you assign me a... job... I will carry it out to the best of my ability.

Good. [Ben's agreeable enough right now, but there's definitely sort of some concern over A. what was going to happen when he decided to go after someone and B. if he'd ever be able to actually get him more talkative and, you know. Normal.]

I'll talk to the wardens in charge of the kitchens, they apparently always need new people.

[It's all there in his file; Ben was a storyteller, once. He was the closest thing his unit had to a social leader. His highest marks are in languages and communications. The intelligence certainly isn't lacking, and he had curiosity and imagination once.

His life drove him crazy; it's not, entirely, his fault. Ben tilts his head ever so slightly, blinking intently.]

I've never worked in a kitchen.

It'll be a good experience. I mean it, there's more to life than killing people and being a soldier. [Even if again, Bucky had liked his job and been very good at it, and there was a part of him that didn't even really believe what he was saying. For him, maybe it would've been different to go home after the war was over, because he would've had Steve still, or maybe he would've stuck with the army and followed Cap around until they got sick of it. It wasn't like the world wouldn't need people like them when this was all over.

But that felt different, because they were fighting for a cause and protecting people, and Ben didn't have that sense of community, and Bucky at least could give going back to normal a good college try. Ben didn't have anything to compare it to, really.]

They'll probably want you for a shift or so every day. How do you feel about running?

Yessir. [It's more acknowledgment than agreement, that there's more to life; he considers reminding Bucky that being a soldier and, yes, killing people is what he was literally created to do, it's arguably what he's best at, but he doesn't imagine for a moment Bucky isn't aware of that. He doesn't quite understand what his file might contain or what the warden and inmate partnership is supposed to be about, but he expects that since the soldier thing is the X5 series' main selling point, anyone handling one will be aware of it and expecting it.

This place is strange.]

Running was a part of the daily PT regimen at Manticore, sir. I'm perfectly capable, once I am cleared by the Chief Medical Officer.

Edited 2012-07-25 21:01 (UTC)

Good. [He's not sure how long that will take, exactly, what with the power reduction and whatever medical supplies they've got on board - all he knows is they're more advanced than what he's used to - but he figures it'll be sooner rather than later, anyway.]

You got any questions for me?

[Ben hesitates; he has a lot of questions but many of them are not ones he expects he would get answered, and of the rest only a select few are questions he would trust anyone here to answer truthfully. But it's rare enough that he's expected to have questions without a specific study material in front of him, and the rules here are different. He's not quite sure of them yet, but he does know that much.

So, carefully keeping all hope and interest from his expression or voice, he does ask.]

I was instructed that I should inquire after terms of use of the library from my assigned warden.

[That's an interesting first choice. Personally, if Bucky was here as an inmate, the first thing he'd want to know about his warden was why they were here and what they did before this to qualify them for teaching him how to be a better person. But Ben isn't him, so he just shrugs a little. There's no real reason to keep him out of the library - it's a public place - and while Bucky honestly isn't sure Ben should have much free time on his hands, he was never going to learn anything if Bucky just trailed him around everywhere.]

You can use it whenever you want. Why?

[Ben isn't Bucky at all - he doesn't expect it matters whether or not he asks about that, because qualifications of the people with control over him hasn't mattered even remotely up to this point. It's not a question he's ever gotten to ask in his life and, even if it occurred to him to do so now, he wouldn't be able to trust the answer; Bucky has been assigned to be his warden, Ben has been assigned to be Bucky's inmate, and that's the only fact that matters for the time being. Maybe he's qualified, maybe he isn't, all that matters is Ben does what he says and passes this program.

Learning the limits of that arrangement, however, is something he's very interested in.]

I was given a book. The Three Musketeers. Nothing about it makes any sense and I would like to research more on it, but I wanted to be sure of your leave, sir.

[Bucky just smiles a little, almost confused by the explanation. This is just so incredibly different from anything else he's ever done before, and he's not really sure what the hell he's doing, but.]

That's fine, Ben. If you're curious about it, the library's probably got a ton of stuff on it. What doesn't make sense?

[It's not very often that someone encourages Ben's curiosity, and of those who have, they have exclusively been his unit mates or the occasional civilians; never a commanding officer. It would be its own dumb-striking revelation if not for what came immediately before it.

Ben's shoulders go rigid when Bucky uses his unit-given name, eyes narrowing and snapping up from where they'd begun to drift like he's been slapped. It's the one thing that's his, that was given to him, that he gets to keep no matter what else happens; he'd suspected the operatives at Manticore knew it, but for some reason he'd thought it was safely locked away in the memories and mouths of him and his family since no one who worked in the program would dare call him by it.

Until, apparently, now.]

Sir. [His voice is even, but his insistence far weaker than it has been on other points thus far, including this same one when they first met.] I know my designation is X5-493.

[Or, you know, the Barge wasn't involved in the program at all, and while Bucky isn't afraid of Ben - he's armed, he's not anywhere near as trained as Ben is, but he's not helpless, and he's died once, and they don't really stay dead here - seeing the attention of someone you knew could jump almost anyone on board and kill them without even thinking about it was a little unsettling.

But he'd seen a lot of unsettling things, and so he didn't really react to the change, even if there was a part of him that was wary.]

Yeah, but that's not your name. And X5-493's kind of a mouthful, so unless there's something you'd rather I call you, I'm gonna stick with Ben.

[Ben spends most of his time being kind of difficult to read, features blank and impassive, tone flat. But if there was any doubt about the cool intelligence residing in the X5, it's there plainly in his eyes now, considering what he's being told with a sudden spike of frustration. Not that Ben ever expected anything to be fair, but he's never felt like things making sense was too much to ask; they never do, but he doesn't understand why that is, why it's expecting the impossible.

This isn't Manticore, but it's not the world outside Manticore; these aren't the military operatives he's accustomed to but they're not civilians. He's an inmate but they don't want him to use his designation, show them the allotted respect, or simply do as he's told. There's no pattern to the tests, and the presence of a warden confirms retraining but that he wants to use Ben's name confirms social in a way that never had anything to do with this part of his life before.

It's still, apparently, too much to ask. Finally the X5 says,] As you please, sir. [and his voice is crisp with aloof frustration. He can't stop the man, not without bringing the wrath of the other wardens down on his head; it's a stupid thing to get into trouble over, and he reminds himself that it's supposed to be what he wants, anyway. Zack has always said as much. So did the others.]

[All this meeting is really convincing him of is that he's totally not cut out for this job. He's looked out for people before, sure, he's been doing it his whole life, but playing shrink with this kid wasn't something he knew how to do.

Still, he doesn't complain and tries not to sigh and roll his eyes at the kid.]

Do you want me to call you something else?

[Ben isn't even sure why he's so mad. He'll try to think about it later, fail to be able to sort it out, and resign himself grudgingly to one more thing he doesn't understand. He tightens his fingers on the grips of the crutches holding him up, and forces himself to iron the frustration from his voice.

He's successful, flat-toned once more when he replies.]

No, sir. As long as it's acceptable, I will respond to Ben.

It's acceptable. [Again, it was that, or Bucky was calling you Four or something for the rest of your time here, because the entire serial code is a little too long to say, especially in the event of a crisis.]

What didn't make sense about the book?

[The question gets a blink out of the X5, not the least because he wasn't even thinking about the book once the name thing got dropped; in fact it takes him a moment to backtrack far enough to find it, and a moment more to even remember why it matters, why it ever did. His reply, when it comes, is slow and careful.]

Basically any of it. Each of the main combatants seemed to be archaic soldiers of one variety or another, and yet the text seemed to focus on one faction over another. I don't understand the criteria.

There isn't any criteria, it's just a story. It's not like, a guide on how to fight a war or whatever.

I know that. [Anyone at all else and this would be reproachful; from Ben, it's a bit crisper, and he hesitates, but all he adds to that is that] It still doesn't make much sense, sir.

three ✪ voice

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