imfollowinghim | fifteen ✪ spam

Entry tags:

fifteen ✪ spam

[Open Spam]

[It's been over a week since Bucky was almost beaten to death maybe a couple yards from the infirmary, and he feels... fine.

Fine. Sore, tired, still healing, but fine, and that's so deeply unsettling that he really doesn't know what to do with it at all. At all, because he's gone this long without having to talk about what happened to him in any detail at all, and he definitely doesn't want to start now. It's just a lot harder to dismiss little differences like increased appetite and tolerance to alcohol and apparently painkillers now, too, as not a big deal when the deep black and blue bruises on his ribs have already faded to almost nothing, when it should take a friggin' month for broken ribs to actually start feeling better, not days.

He's scared. He's been scared of what this is going to mean for a long time, and two days ago, after he'd shooed Steve away, locked the bathroom door behind him and turned on the shower, he'd spent a distressingly long time staring at his own reflection in the mirror, wondering if now's the time his face is going to start peeling off to reveal some monster right out of a pulp underneath.

So he stays quiet about it, tries to pretend like he still feels like shit and doesn't want to do much - which isn't a difficult thing to pull off, because all of this means he is pretty fucking miserable - and if he's a little more sullen and cranky than usual, Steve seems to be chalking it up to the fact that he's got three busted ribs and a bad concussion, and leaves it at that. It works out for the most part.

But eventually, boredom does get the better of him. Sitting around in bed while you're recovering - unless you're really out of your mind with fever or whatever drugs were trying to help nudge you back along to health - is fucking terrible, no matter who you're with or where you are, and obviously it's not like he expects Steve to be keeping him company the whole time he convalesces. They can't both be sitting around in Steve's room feeling penned in and bored.

Bucky slips out of Steve's room sometime after his friend heads out to go for a jog, and as much as he wants to go for a run or punch the hell of something in the gym, he heads for the dining hall and helps himself to a giant stack of pancakes instead. Now that he's not as achey or metabolizing painkillers out of his system too quickly, he's even more ravenously hungry than usual, and winds up settling at a table near a corner, facing the door to get to work on finishing breakfast. The bruises around his eyes are gone, and there's still a bandage wrapped around his left hand - even though the cut's healed, he'd changed the wrappings himself so no one would get suspicious - and as much as he looks burned out and tired, he's in a lot better shape than he has any right to be, and kind of looks it.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Neither of them is thrilled by the things they know about each other's very deeply personal secrets. But they deal with it because they have to. What other choice is there, really? And if there's one thing that Stiles is really really good at, it's keeping other people's secrets.

He smirks at Bucky's exasperation. He and other people's exasperation tend to be well-acquainted.]

Maybe more than one someone.

[He feigns an innocent look, eyes widening and holding a hand up.]

No stitch popping for Stiles.

I guess you're less of a blockhead than I thought, [He teases, unapologetically.] Good thing too, I've got enough of you goons to keep an eye on as is.

[Not that he minds, really. His entire squad and most of his company had either been killed, evacuated or absorbed into the Commandos after Azzano and the rescue, so it's been a while since he's felt like he's had a bunch of kids to help keep an eye on, or give reassurance to. And while it's not like he'd regretted joining the Commandos and saying goodbye to the 107th, there's a part of him that'd still worried about most of those guys, wherever they'd ended up. Stiles isn't that much younger than some of the guys he'd led, and he's definitely older than at least a couple of them, and not everyone - not even NCOs or officers - had been that great with fresh recruits.

They hadn't wanted to get attached, not after losing so many guys back when they'd took Sicily and trudged through Italy, and Bucky hadn't either, but he couldn't just leave the kids feeling scared shitless and alone.

Honestly, as we all know, Bucky's historically been bad about walking away from an underdog.

He stops to chew and swallow another mouthful of pancakes before asking his next question, sobering up a little bit to do so.]

How're you holding up?

Blockhead? Really?

[He arches an eyebrow at Bucky and shakes his head. You know, he wouldn't allow most people to get by with that, but he knows Bucky's teasing and Bucky's someone he's bonded with a lot on the Barge so. But he might just narrow his eyes at the older man and consider flinging a piece of scrambled egg in his general direction. Instead, he pops another bite into his mouth -- because he's actually hungry which is rare, and the eggs are good.]

Do I wanna know who else you're keeping an eye on? I mean, aside from Steve. [He grins at that, also sobering up when Bucky asks the next question. He draws in a breath and lets it out slowly, glancing around before focusing his attention on him.]

We told Allison. [He pauses, looking down for a moment.] It was gonna come out eventually and...better from us voluntarily than because some weird truth flood happens or something. [He pushes his eggs around, tapping the fork against the side of the plate.]

You, Scott, Mason, Ben, Helena, Dean when he's not being a shithead... [He trails off, because there are others - Cosima, Will, Needy, Morgana, he could keep going - but he's focusing on Stiles' answer and lets the subject of his inability to leave well enough alone drop for now.

Sort of, because that's something he definitely has questions about, and he figures Stiles wouldn't have mentioned if he flat out doesn't want to talk about it. Bucky's also sure he'll let him know if he doesn't want to talk anymore, or about what Bucky's asking about, so he nods, chopping up some more pancake with his fork.]

How'd that go?

[...the two of them really do run in the same circles, apparently. He lets out a breath, glances up.]

It was rough. [He circles the tip of his index finger around the top of his glass of juice.] Scott looked so -- [He holds his breath, shakes his head. Broken. Devastated.] And Allison just...I don't know, I almost feel like she kind of knew. On some level.

Maybe she did. [Sometimes, you can just tell when something's eating at your buddies, and he knows he's definitely caught Steve staring at him like he can't believe he's there, or like he's expecting to see someone else.

At least he knew he was dead. It's not like Steve would be able to hide something big from him.

He's also making a mental note to check on Scott once he gets a chance, but for the time being:] You okay?

[Bucky knows more than enough to know Stiles is blaming himself for all of it.]

Yeah.

[He nods a little in agreement. For as hard as they tried to hide the fact she's dead back home for all of them, none of them was really great at keeping things like that from one another. And it weighed on all of them. The lie. The truth. All of it.

He pushed the eggs around on his plate a little more and looks up at Bucky.]

I'm getting there. I think.

Good. [That gets him a genuine smile that's maybe a touch proud.

Sure, Stiles could be bullshitting him, but there's a difference between saying you're working on it and you've done it, so he's more than willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that maybe yeah, he is working on it.

(Not that he's going to stop keeping an eye out, because that's just not how he works, which is why he shrugs casually and continues.)]

I mean, I can always be a broken record at you, if you need it.

[It's not your fault.]

[He isn't bullshitting Bucky. He is working on things. He's talked to both Bucky and Jean now, and oddly enough stabbing himself in the gut seemed to be a wake up call for him. Maybe it's because it resulted in Allison dying -- again -- but he can't let himself spend all of his time and energy fighting a demon that's not even on the Barge. The nogitsune isn't there. All that's there is the echoes of the fox and those are in his mind. But they're also on the faces of all his friends.

He has to get past this in order to complete his deal. To keep his friends, his family, safe. There isn't another alternative.

He does smile at Bucky's offer.]

Appreciate that.

Good. [And he'll keep pretending like he's doing Stiles a favor just to offer that much - and it's pretty obvious pretending's what he's doing - even though seriously, it's not. He'd be doing this pretty much no matter what.]

So what else is new? [Being holed up recovering had meant he hasn't been paying as close attention to things like the network as he probably should be.]

[Stiles has still paid attention -- mostly because he tends to run on the side of hyper-vigilance. Sometimes (when he actually sleeps for more than a couple hours at a time) he wakes up in the middle of the night and checks on things. Just in case.

Last night it had proven to be important, but he grimaces.]

Well. Someone else from home showed up last night. Isaac. [He knows Bucky talked to him.]

Yeah, I said hi. [They hadn't really talked long or deep enough for Bucky to get much of an opinion on him, but he hadn't exactly noticed any red flags or anything, so that's something.]

You ever wonder why so many people from where you're from keep showing up?

[But before Stiles can really comment on that...]

What's that face for?

[He nods and starts to respond to Bucky's first question when he asks the next one. He feels kind of sheepish now, actually. He sets his fork down and picks up his glass of juice.]

He's not a bad guy or anything. I mean, not really. Other than that time he tried to kill Lydia. But he was acting on his alpha's orders, and Derek was being really dumb and stubborn and not listening to reason when we tried to tell him that Lydia wasn't the kanima -- which is a giant homicidal lizard that we had to deal with, by the way -- and he's helped out a lot since then.

[He pauses, shifting in his seat. But. But. But Isaac and Scott are friends. Good friends. And as much as he's vowed to himself that he'll try to make amends with Isaac, too, despite the fact he should because Isaac is part of Scott's pack, is -- whatever he is with Allison, and he's there to help fix part of Stiles' mess -- despite all of that, he's already on edge from the beta's presence on the ship. They aren't friends. They've never been friends. They grate on each other's nerves -- intentionally on both their parts -- and don't get him started on the scarves the guy wears in sixty degree weather. He's tense. He shrugs when he looks at Bucky again, knowing how very petty all of it is, how over it he should be.]

And here I am, whining about Nazis. [And he kind of remembers the lizard thing. It's just different, because it's not like Lydia was there (even if he kind of vaguely remembers a redheaded girl and not her name) and the details of a lot of it have gone fuzzy and distorted (thus the vagueness, maybe it started with an N?), but yeah, what the fuck even is your universe, Stiles? He's kind of glad they didn't have to worry about werewolves and lizards on top of Nazis and HYDRA agents.

Anyway, Stiles is obviously uncomfortable, and Bucky might not be able to really fully relate - there were moments early on where he'd felt resentful and jealous that people like Peggy and Howard, or even random strangers suddenly gave a shit about what Steve had to say when they wouldn't have given him the time of day before Captain America - but he's usually been pretty good at finding a spot he's comfortable with in a social circle, and isn't very easily intimidated or ticked off by newcomers.

Still, if there was some guy he didn't really like suddenly acting like he was Steve's best pal, or an honorary Commando or something, sure, he'd be pissed.

It makes it pretty easy to casually make this offer after he finishes off another half a pancake.]

Do you need me to beat him up for you?

[He's kidding. Hopefully.]

Yeah, well, Nazis definitely suck, too. [He almost smiles. Almost. He takes a drink of juice, wondering what exactly Jackson is up to these days, since he took off for London. He shakes his head, not wanting to think about Jackson Whittemore because with his luck, that's who'll show up from home next. And thanks but. No thanks.]

Nah. No violence required. We just...get on each other's nerves. On a regular basis. We're on the same side of things, we just clash.

[He does relax a little again.]

He's got this thing for scarves.

[Thus reassured that he doesn't need to go defending anyone's honor, Bucky goes back to eating breakfast, listening attentively, and continuing to gently interrogate Stiles.

Okay, interrogate is probably too strong a word, but he's curious.]

Why scarves?

Exactly! [He flails a hand around, shaking his head.]

We live in California where it's in at least the sixties like every single day of the year. Why the hell would you even wear a scarf?

Edited 2014-08-19 20:21 (UTC)

How the hell would I know? I think it's pretty safe to say I'm a little outta touch with what you kids think is in style.

[Which is fully a joke at his own expense, and he wouldn't have a good answer for you even if he was from 2014.]

[He snorts at that, and shakes his head, taking a drink of orange juice. He's pretty much not in touch with what people think is in style, either. He pretty much layers in a t-shirt and long-sleeved flannel shirt every day.]

That's okay. I'm keeping you anyway.

[Let's be honest, that's probably not too far off from how Bucky would dress if he started updating his wardrobe, so no judgment here.]

Wow, I'm touched. Would've been pretty disappointing if clothes was what made you decide I'm an asshole.

[It's simple, affordable, and most of all? Comfortable. Those are pretty much the three things Stiles cares about when it comes to fashion.]

Yeah, plus that'd make me a shitty person. [It's not like most of his beef with Isaac is about his scarves anyway. It's just the easiest thing to mock, the thing that won't lead to the deeper discussion of the reasons the two of them don't like each other or get along.]

[Hey, all of that is stuff Bucky can get behind. Sure, splurging on a decent suit was nice, but he's never had a ton of money to throw around.]

So, he just a normal teenager, or do I need to start reading up on vampires?

[Maybe that would explain the scarf thing...]

[He pauses here, but only for a second. If he was talking to anyone but Bucky, or maybe Steve, he'd hesitate a lot more. But hell. Bucky pretty much knows more about their lives than anyone else aboard the Barge except for those actually from Beacon Hills. He trusts him.]

Well. He's not a vampire. But he is like Scott. Minus the alpha part anyway.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

fifteen ✪ spam

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject