imfollowinghim | fifteen ✪ voice/text

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fifteen ✪ voice/text

[Bucky has been quiet, and brooding, and dealing with some shitty stuff since coming back from the Overlook, and hasn't really been in the mood to talk to most people, but when he clicks on the audio function and starts talking, he sounds more or less normal, at least at the beginning.]

So I know most people probably don't care and there're probably gonna be some of you who'll point out that's just some Earth thing that happened a million years ago and no one cares, but four years ago - for me, anyway - was the day the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor.

[He's quiet for a really long moment, almost to the point of where someone might wonder if he forgot to shut off the comm, but he picks up again, and now sounds a lot more pensive than most other people have probably heard him get before. Again, he's had a lot to think about.] It's just weird to think about, because everything before that happening seems really far away, almost like it happened to somebody else. And it's kinda hard to explain, to someone who didn't have to go through it exactly what that's like, because everything you worried about before that seems so dumb in comparison. And yeah, maybe it's just boring history to most of you, or it doesn't matter because you're not from Earth or whatever, but millions of people died, by the time the war was all over. It's easy enough to ignore it when it's not affecting you, but no one's the same after they get that kinda stuff dumped in their laps. It's not just something you read about in history books.

[And again he pauses, but this time he just shuts the damn thing off, because he doesn't really do introspection often, and certainly not to a public audience, so frankly he's kind of embarrassed he got this far before cutting himself off.]

[Private to the Admiral]

Get Steve something from Ebbets Field, since apparently he's not gonna have that to go visit when he gets back to New York.

Get Natasha some new knives or something. If Mal's got an issue with that, get her a lacrosse stick and a baseball glove. She'll know why.

Get Ben some movies to watch he hasn't seen yet. Maybe some Disney stuff.

Get Agent Carter something from back home she's been missing. England, back home, not the army base or whatever.

...

Look, frankly, I'm pretty terrible at coming up with things to get people, so if you could just get Rhade and Jefferson something they'd like, I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

And get Stark something that'll drive him as crazy as those robots drove the rest of us.

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Hey. You wanna get a drink, or go to the CES? I'm not -- feelin' like talking to people a lot, today.

[There's a beat of hesitation, because Bucky's not sure he feels like talking to people, either, but. Steve's the person who's most likely to understand, and he'd feel like an asshole for shutting him out, even if this is a particularly bad day.]

Yeah. I think I'd like that.

[As far as Steve is concerned, Bucky's not people, he's family. Honestly, he was planning on spending time with him for most of the day in any case. This is a weird day for him, remembering it like it was well -- four years ago, knowing that it's actually sixty-plus years in the past back home, remembering the ache and need to serve his country, do what everyone else was doing.]

Good. Booze, or should we see if the CES is nice and gonna give us Central Park?

[He's tempted to say let's head for the bar, but while he knows the chance of winding up somewhere back-home-familiar is pretty small, he does kind of want to take it. It's been a long time since he's been home, and while the homesickness wasn't too hard to ignore, especially when Steve showed up in Europe, it was still hard to think about sometimes, considering you know. He was dead.]

The CES. Meet you up there?

Sure. [It may be small, but Steve's willing enough to take it. He's hoping that if he keeps the thought of Central Park firmly in his mind as he heads up there, it'll maybe work somehow.]

Kinda wish it'd show us Brooklyn, but I somehow doubt that'll ever happen.

Might be weird, to see all the buildings but none of the people.

[And he goes quiet as he heads up to the CES and waits outside the door for Steve. He's wearing his Commandos jacket, because it's cold on deck with the snow and it's one of the warmest articles of clothing he's got with him on the Barge, and he's definitely not wearing that awful sweater the Admiral dropped off.

He tries to smile, even though it's maybe apparent it's a little forced, or at least a little shaky.]

Hey.

Probably would be. Too quiet.

[Unfortunately, Steve doesn't have as quite warm a jacket as Bucky does, just the leather one. But it suits, for now, and he doesn't get cold half as easily as he used to. The sweater he'll probably save for when it's closer to Christmas, it felt a little -- too jolly, for today.

His smile is a little shaky in return, introspective and just -- kind of tired, really.]

Hey. I was gonna come find you anyway, so I'm glad you wanted to come up here.

[Bucky's not wearing his sweater period, the Admiral's got weird taste.

His smile gets a little wider, maybe a little more wry, and again it's kind of weird, because he appreciates Steve being here and knowing what it's like, but this is still just. A weird day on top of a weird couple weeks. Or months, really.]

Doesn't feel like it was four years ago, does it? [Which he really means both ways, because some days, it felt like it had happened a lifetime ago, and sometimes it felt like it had been last week.

He unlocks the door and pulls it open, letting Steve go in first.] Anywhere familiar?

[True. Steve's only amenable to wearing his because it just has a deer on it.

It is weird. He's not entirely sure how to deal with it all, knowing that it was over sixty years ago, really, but it just feels like weeks ago, for him. Maybe months. So he shrugs in answer, gives a little nod.]

No. Especially not today. I can still remember the president on the radio.

[But he heads on in and looks around. Unfortunately, nowhere familiar. But it's peaceful and filled with trees, which he supposes is a nice enough place to get lost in for a day.]

Nah. But I guess that could be a good thing. [There's a beat, while he starts making his way to a nearby tree to sprawl down underneath.] You alright?

Pearl Harbor?

It's a harbor in Hawaii, the US has a naval base there.

I have never heard of such a place but my apologies that must be awful.

I wasn't there, it just finally got the US involved in the Second World War. You from before 1941 or not from Earth?

Before 1941. Very much before.

When?

It was 532 before I arrived here.

I guess you weren't kidding.

Why would I?

[She's silent, for a while, grimly contemplative and a little hesitant, but finally...]

I don't know what it's like. Not exactly.

But - my life is a lot different, than it used to be. And sometimes it's really hard to remember what it was like, before...

[A slight shrug.] I'm not sure when making life and death decisions started feeling normal.

[Bucky laughs a little hoarsely because MAN DOES HE GET THAT.]

Scary when that realization hits, isn't it?

[A bleak little smile.]

It really is.

And it's not like you have any model for "normal" because all your friends are the same way.

And it's not like the rest of us here are any better.

Time and distance and bein' from another planet don't stop a thing like that from mattering. I'm sorry you 'ad to go through it, lovey.

It's fine. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, I just think too many people forget about it, sometimes, once it's not in their face anymore.

It was a terrible act.

Wasn't the worst thing that happened during the war.

Most things that happen in war are terrible.

[Flatly:] Gee, really?

[If Castiel notices the sarcasm, he makes no indication of it.]

Yes.

You can tell who's been through something big and who hasn't.

Or sometimes people're just assholes.

Only sometimes? You're too generous, Bucky.

We've had this talk. I still've got faith in one or two people.

Having only one or two puts you squarely on my side, if we're being honest.

Steve's a great guy, I see why you put all your eggs in his basket.

The only reason something like that could seem boring is because of how peaceful and placid life is for so many in the new generation. And because schools neglect to teach them that there are faces in every war. As terrible as it is that you had to go through that, it's terrible that people forget.

Tell me about it. Kinda makes me wonder if I should be glad I'm more or less stuck here instead've going home to watch it happen.

Understandable. I think people here are more likely to understand. They might not all be from the right time, or the right world, but there's a pattern here. A lot of former soldiers, a lot of people caught at the wrong time.

I guess we are all here for a reason. Not a lot of average schmoes wandering around.

Well if there were, can you imagine how rough this would be on them? Those of you who have protective instincts would never get any rest.

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