imfollowinghim | eight ✪ voice

I'm heading up to the CES if anyone feels like tossing a baseball around for a while. I've got an extra glove if you need to borrow one.

[And for the curious, not that you can see him anyway, but Ben is within eyesight while making the public part of this post, because someone has been pretty much glued to him when he's not sleeping or working in the dining hall since that incident.

However, the next part is done in private so there isn't the awkward of talking about you while you're standing right there. :|]

[Filtered to Steve, Peggy and Natasha]

I've got a favor to ask you guys, and I get that it's kinda asking a lot, so I just wanna put it out there that there's gonna be no hard feelings if you're not up for it.

I really need a couple other people keepin' an eye on Ben and making sure he isn't getting into trouble when I'm not around. I've been trying to keep up with him, but the kid barely needs to sleep and I don't want to just order him on lockdown because I need a couple hours of sleep every few days. [He's kidding, but he honestly really doesn't sleep all that much, and hasn't since he was overseas, and so the fact that he's starting to feel kind of worn down is saying something.] We don't need a rotating schedule or anything, and honestly, the kid could do with a couple good influences in his life that aren't me and Rhade. He's really not a bad kid, he's just kind of messed up.

[And basically he trusts you guys and thinks you'd be good people to teach Ben how to not be such a robot and hopefully won't treat him like shit because he attacked a guy for basically no reason. :V]

[Private to Natasha]

I know we don't know each other all that well [Someday he will realize the irony in this statement BUT TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY.] so I understand if this isn't up your alley, but Steve said you're reliable and I figure the more eyes the kid has on him, the less likely it is that he's gonna cause problems.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Bucky stops short and looks at Ben in surprise, laughing a little, because he doesn't really understand the urgency. So he was tired. So what? It wasn't hurting his job any, and it was really better to keep occupied doing this kind of thing than just sitting around not doing anything.]

A sleeping defect? No. Why are you so worried all of a sudden? I mean, I appreciate it, but I swear I'm fine.

[In the past, Ben has occasionally reacted poorly to laughter; he's not stupid, merely ignorant, and he gets annoyed when he thinks he's being laughed at for asking questions, or confused because he doesn't know what's amusing and irritated because of that. Now, the corner of his mouth tugs again and Bucky may have said he was worried before, but there's something like genuine concern - and utter severity - in the way he answers without hesitating at all this time. His gaze is unwavering.]

If it begins to affect your performance, you might disappear. That happens here, too, I know it does.

[The smile drops from his face a little, because he can't really promise that he's not going to disappear. That does happen here, more frequently than it should, and he doesn't want to make promises he can't keep. There's a very real chance he'll be booted back home to the bottom of a frozen river to finish drowning (if impact with a rock or whatever hadn't cracked his skull like an egg) and Ben will be stuck here by himself.

Still, he can reassure him of one part of this.]

I'm not gonna disappear because I haven't been sleeping. That's not how it works here.

[Ben, at best, looks dubious. Physical injuries are safe, they're something to report to be fixed, even the most mortal wounds were attempted to be dealt with because transgenics, Ben knows, are expensive to deal with. Too expensive to allow to die because of an unfortunate training accident, and besides - severe injuries were nothing any of the unit could successfully hide, anyway.

But the seizures were another matter entirely, unforeseeable and unmanageable, and they'd done their best to hide them from the sergeants and the doctors when they could. Jack had started out with minor tremors during morning PT, and they'd shuffled him to the back ranks throughout the day as they got worse; three days later a guard walked in on a full blown seizure and they'd been unable to do anything except scatter. Ben can easily still recall his face the last time he saw him, slack-jawed and stupid and still seizing, and then it was like he'd never even existed.

Humans, as far as Ben is aware, do not have the seizure defect; but maybe they have sleep disorders that can be similar. He doesn't even seem to hear the reassurance.]

You could ask Doctor Tam about a tryptophan regimen. That helps with the seizure defect in X5s. You could tell him I need a higher dosage if you need to avoid it being reported.

[Bucky gets what the issue is, and there's a part of him that wants to just fess up and explain, but he has a feeling that doing that might just make things worse, because he's confirming that there's an issue and therefore something to be concerned about, even though he really doesn't think having nightmares and sleepless nights was something to make yourself sick over. It happened to everyone. He'd just seen a lot of crappy stuff.

So he tried to keep the frustration out of his voice, because he was a little irritated that he was sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place, here.] Ben, I'm not sick. I don't need meds, there's no reason to report it to anyone, it's just been a bad month, alright? Drop it.

[It's not really an order, but he does toss him a baseball glove and go to stand a couple yards away from him, waiting to make sure he's got the glove on before throwing him the ball.]

[Ben catches the glove easily, and doesn't try to follow this time when Bucky walks away from him; neither does he put it on right away, though he doesn't say anything further. A muscle in his jaw jumps, irritation at how unfair it is that he can be ordered to silence and the reflexive, inherent knowledge that there will be consequences for not obeying; the narrowing of his eyes is softer, worry and doubt more than threat, but what else is he supposed to do?

He vows to keep a close eye on it, and drops his attention down to the glove as he pulls it on.] Yessir. [He catches the ball as neatly as he did the glove, and tosses it back without hesitating, backing a few more steps because he can now that he's gotten used to the Catch exercise. His hand-eye coordination is excellent.]

eight ✪ voice

[ Spam ]

[ Spam ]

[ Spam ]

[ Spam ]

[ Spam ]

[ Spam ]