Bucky Barnes (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
imfollowinghim) wrote2014-07-28 06:36 pm
imfollowinghim) wrote2014-07-28 06:36 pm
fourteen ✪ voice
[Anyone on the second floor (or first or third, really) might have heard a couple gunshots, shattering glass and other signs of a fight not too soon before Bucky's post. Then there's another gunshot, and silence for a couple seconds before quiet voices start up - C'rizz and Bucky.
A while later, a post's on the network. Bucky's panting and his voice is hoarse and strained, either because he's exhausted or in a hell of a lot of pain (it's both), but he manages to let everyone know what the hell was going on anyway.]
Zane's dead. [That's it. That's all he wants to say about it, and it kind of seems like he's going to leave it at that before he bites out:]
We need fucking call signs or passwords next time this happens.
[And then clicks the comm off so he can figure out how he's getting to the infirmary, because he is definitely not being carried.]
A while later, a post's on the network. Bucky's panting and his voice is hoarse and strained, either because he's exhausted or in a hell of a lot of pain (it's both), but he manages to let everyone know what the hell was going on anyway.]
Zane's dead. [That's it. That's all he wants to say about it, and it kind of seems like he's going to leave it at that before he bites out:]
We need fucking call signs or passwords next time this happens.
[And then clicks the comm off so he can figure out how he's getting to the infirmary, because he is definitely not being carried.]
Spam
Not that he hasn't always had a hard head, at least figuratively. Sheer stubbornness has seen him through a lot. He doesn't plan to give up that technique anytime soon, either.] I would know - so I know it's gonna take a couple of days to clear up.
[And you don't have to go pretending you're fine in the meantime. Steve still thinks Bucky's hiding a lot, but at least he's not hiding everything. Besides, Steve's hiding some, too, because he's got a hunch, based on how well painkillers work for him (which is to say, not at all, unless they're dosed for a pack of elephants), but he can't say a damn thing, so the best he can do is try to give Bucky as many outs as he can.
Which includes trying to slide on the bed without making him move at all, but that doesn't quite work and he tries to hide the wince as Bucky looks less than comfortable, at least while he's trying to find a good spot. But he does sort of appreciate not being in danger of falling off the bed; he'll also promise no elbows to the ribs. There's more room on here than anything else they've shared. Steve's suddenly glad he opted for something bigger than a twin - because it probably sounds ridiculous, but that's all he'd ever had, and it's what he'd considered getting, pushing six-foot-two or not. Now he's really, really glad he splurged on something bigger, even if it felt ridiculous to him to have so much damn space to sleep.
He does laugh quietly, though, shrugging with the shoulder that's not settled into the mattress.] Like you're ever good company? [But he's teasing.] Buck, it's fine. Being laid up's the worst, and I know it. You're just not used to it - and I promise, being used to it doesn't make it better, anyway.
You'll be back up on your feet before you know it. [He'd believe that, anyway, even without what he already knows.] Sometimes I wonder how the Admiral expects us to get anything done, with all this other... stuff going on. Although I guess there's something to be said for character-building under adversity.
[He sounds wry, because come on, if you consider character-building under adversity, he and Bucky should be overflowing with character.]
Spam
Asshole, [He quips right back with a small grin, because please, he's always good company. The smile tapers off for a moment while he listens (strange, how this conversation has kind of been turned on his head, because how many times has he told Steve he'll be feeling better in no time?), but he barks out a genuine laugh at the next part, which hurts a little, but he's not sorry about it.]
What, we haven't done enough of that already?
[He knows Steve is kidding, but he still lifts his right hand, and starts ticking off items on his fingers.]
Orphans, growing up poor, trying to hold down a steady job and not wind up on the street, you being sick all the fucking time, running into a goddamn world war? [His grin falters a little bit, because they know what came after that. Bucky's death, Steve's crash, winding up alone in the future.
They've been handed shitty hand after shitty hand, and they usually figure out a way to make it work. Usually.
Except Bucky's dead, and Steve's alone and clearly depressed, and honestly? He's really, really sick of needing to fight tooth and nail for everything, and he's ten times sicker of seeing the universe use Steve as a punching bag.
Which doesn't mean he's not going to fight, or struggle, or lose whatever optimism he's been able to hang onto, but he still wishes things were easier, on Steve at least.
He drops his hand back to the mattress, still smirking.]
I'm scared as hell of what the Admiral'd come up with for us next.
[And again, it's a joke, and it's not. It's not like Bucky had been able to keep Steve safe the way he'd want to during the war, but at least he'd known what they were up against. Here, he could be the one hurting Steve, or not even remember him, or who knows what else?
At least he's safe right now.]
Spam
Not bad enough not to make a face when Bucky insults him right back, though. Besides, he has to chuckle a little when Bucky starts listing things, despite everything.] Yeah, we've kind of done it all, huh? Doesn't explain why you're still a miscreant, then.
[Like Steve's not more of a troublemaker than Bucky ever was. And he knows it. Steve's the one who was always picking fights - oh, sure, Bucky picked a few, but he was mostly pulling Steve out of them, not running into them without good cause. Not that Steve would say he never had good cause. But it doesn't change things, either.
And he'd rather focus on the stupid stuff than anything that's been happening lately, in 1945 or in 2014 or whenever. And even though he knows Bucky is half joking, about what the Admiral might come up with, he knows he's half serious. And it does worry Steve, too. There's so much that could go wrong. There's so much that has gone wrong. What if the Admiral decides it's better if Steve tells the truth? What then?
But he just has to figure they'll cross that bridge when they come to it. It's what they've always done in the past. All the planning in the world gets you nowhere when life throws you curveballs, fastballs, spitballs, and then fires a cannon or few at you, to boot.
And he still knows he got the easy end of the deal.
Still, he manages to smile and point out,] Well, he's already turned you into a woman.
[And that… went okay? Except for the part where he still hopes Becky is… back home, wherever she belongs. It wasn't just Bucky in a woman's body. It was a completely different - and yet similar - person.]
I guess we'd better just hang on for the ride, and avoid giving him any ideas. [He lets out a breath.] Besides, you'll be back on your feet before anything else comes up. [Okay, he's only been here two months, but it's been consistent so far. Even with this unexpected adventure, there's been a lull between things. He hopes that holds.] As long as you take it easy now.
[Hint, hint.]
Spam
[Which is all true, of course, but the thing is? Bucky's always known Steve's the better man of the two of them. That's only gotten clearer after the war, because Bucky's felt pieces of his humanity chip and fray, and he'd like to think he's not a monster, but there's still something fractured, there.
Steve fights bullies. Bucky kills people, and he'd do it forever if it'd keep Steve (and the free world, and innocent people, but mostly Steve) safe, and he'd stopped feeling sorry for the bodies he's left behind a long time ago.
(People keep reassuring him about killing Zane, and they don't need to. He's sorry, sure, because the guy hadn't been in his right mind, but he'd do it again. No question. Hadn't been when it'd happened, either.)
And that's why it's harder still to know that his friend still can't seem to catch a break. It's not fair. Steve deserves so much more than that, and Bucky wishes he could just give it to him, the same way he'd been able to hand over an extra apple or a warmer jacket, but he can't, and it's not fair.
So maybe that train of thought makes his answering smile a little slow, maybe a little faded, but he manages one anyway.]
At least I was good looking. [He's thought about what happens to them too, the people who get brought here because of a flood. There's already at least one other Barge out there, maybe, and Jean had known him as a teenager in tights and a domino mask, so the idea that there are other universes out there probably isn't too hard to wrap your mind around.
But Steve's right, there's nothing they can really do but sit around and wait. Bucky's definitely not complaining (yet) about having some downtime to recover from the last catastrophe.]
This might come as a surprise, [Considering what you'd probably be doing if their positions were reversed, you know it, Bucky knows it.] But I'm not really planning on running a marathon any time soon.
[Because he's not an idiot, unlike certain other people.
Bucky gets quiet for a moment, letting out a soft breath, expression getting a little distant and pensive before all of that vanishes behind another small smile.]
I'm really glad you're here, pal.
Spam
[Yeah, except for the shit-eating grin on his face.
Still. Things have changed, a lot. But even then… fractured or not, Bucky's not a monster. He never will be. No one, nothing, will ever convince Steve otherwise. Never. And if he's got to remind Bucky of that until he's blue in the face… well, he will. That's what friends do.
(And honestly? Steve might have killed Zane too, had he been where Bucky was. He's usually got the luxury of subduing someone by sheer advantage of greater strength rather than killing them. But not always. And someone like Zane? He's not sure he could subdue him. Especially not when Zane can use the shield against him, because that's one of Steve's bigger advantages. He doesn't expect Bucky to feel sorry about it, and he won't ask him to. Steve's not unhappy with the way things turned out. Maybe he should be more impartial, but he's only human. He'd go to very, very great lengths for Bucky. He will, he knows it.)
And if he deserves anything, it's the ability to want to give the people he cares about a better life. Anything he can do to make that happen… he'd argue he deserves that chance. That's all.
He laughs a little, though, shrugging the one shoulder again. Becky was good-looking, yeah, and she knew it. She'd probably used it, if she'd had to. But she was a lot more than looks. He'd argue Bucky is, too, because Bucky never did have any trouble in that department, either.]
No? That's good. 'Cause I'd probably have to tie you up to stop you, and you'd grouch about it. Endlessly.
[He'll just ignore the fact that yeah… you'd think Steve would have had enough practice at being stuck in bed to be gracious about it. But he's never been. The instant he felt minutely better, he's always tried to get up, get back to normal, sometimes with very poor consequences. And yet, the next time… he just gets right up and tries again.
Although that genuine expression, a minute later, means more than he can say.]
So am I. [Because if Bucky had had to be here alone, feeling guilty and not knowing what had happened to Steve - well. He feels guilty, and he's pissed about what did happen. But this has still got to be better than the alternative. It's better than the alternative of Steve being here alone, mired in his own thoughts, or trying to ignore them and throwing himself into his work. He's still doing a little bit of both, but getting Bucky back, here, helps to remind him just what he's fighting for, what he wants - needs - to do back home. It's not a solution, but it's not a problem.] I seriously never expected to see you - here.
[Not again, because that's not true. Not after what's just happened back home. But he can't say that, so he doesn't.] I missed this. [Not living alone - not being alone. He'd almost forgotten what it felt like, in just two years.] Even with your occasional bitching.
[But he doesn't mean that. Bitch away, Bucky. Someone's got to keep him honest.]
Spam
Thank God for Dr. Erskine.
And he did have to live through that - being without Steve and knowing about what happened - for a little while, and it was horrible. It'd only been about a month between him dying and Steve showing up here, and it's probably embarrassing how badly he'd missed having him around. Bucky had missed him during basic and when he'd shipped out, too, but that had been kind of different. As much as he'd thought he was going to die in Italy, and in the factory, that had still felt different. At least Steve had been home and more or less safe, and he wouldn't blame himself for Bucky getting killed.
(Well, Steve probably would have found a way to feel guilty anyway, but Bucky'd like to think it'd be less crazy than it was now.)
This is different. Bucky had died watching Steve's back, and he'd known how badly his friend would be taking it, and it made the rest of it - dying, being dead, dealing with being out of alignment with everyone else when it came to things like technology and pop culture and everything else - harder than it needed to be.]
Yeah, well, you're lucky you've got someone who'll put up with your bullshit. [And would call you on it. Endlessly. That's his job.
Bucky reaches over to pat Steve's shoulder gently, affectionate, trying to solidify that yeah, he's here and real and all that.]
Missed you, too.
[Again, for the whole month he was here by himself.
It was a long month.]
Spam
And he is, quite honestly, even glad to have Bucky around to call him on his bullshit. He'd do a hell of a lot, put up with a hell of a lot, just to have Bucky around. Anything, pretty much, seems like a fair trade-off at this point, because it's never, ever gotten easier not to have him around.
And he truly can't imagine what it was like for Bucky, for even that single month. He's just sorry it was a whole month. But he's also glad it wasn't longer.
Besides, he knows a month can feel like a very, very long time.
Just like that hand on his shoulder, and everything it means, feels so very, very good. He doesn't know if he'll ever really, truly get this back. It's what he wants, but he doesn't have the answers, he doesn't know what HYDRA's done, how much of it can be fixed.
So he's just got to try to enjoy this now, while he can, and let it be part of the reason he'll never, ever give up chasing Bucky down back home.]
Well, if you're gonna keep putting up with my bullshit, then you can put up with me saying you should go back to sleep, too. You still need, it, buddy.
And I'm not sleeping until you do.
[If Steve looks like he knows he's using Bucky's protectiveness against him... well. He does. And he is.]
Spam
Alright, alright. [Steve's definitely using his weakness against him, and for the time being... he doesn't mind.
God knows he probably does need sleep, even more than he usually does.] I can take a hint.
[So he takes his hand back and does his best to get comfortable, even if he needs to keep his breathing shallow and slow to avoid feeling like he's getting stabbed in the lungs. He's still resting on his uninjured side, and gropes around for a moment until his fingers close on a blanket that he promptly tosses at Steve. A second one gets sort of haphazardly draped over his legs, but he doesn't move to pull it up any higher.
Apparently satisfied, he closes his eyes and lets out a slow breath.]
Night Steve.
Spam
Might be the first time, [Steve says, smiling a little smugly, partly to be all the more annoying, but partly because he's actually glad Bucky's seen his point. He lets Bucky get comfortable (or as comfortable as he can, with busted ribs) and snorts a little when the blanket he assumed was going over Bucky comes flying his way - he shouldn't have been surprised. He settles down with extreme care next to his best friend; Steve's never tended to toss and turn, but now it's all the more important to make sure he's not going to smack or kick Bucky in his sleep. And Bucky's left him more than enough room; Steve eyes the other side of the bed, but there's enough room for Bucky, too, so he doesn't say anything. It's not both of them trying to squeeze onto a twin, anymore, which is good because that really, really doesn't work anymore.]
Night, Buck.