Or because you want to. [Which has always felt like the biggest difference to him. Maybe it was a tiny bit harder killing Germans, at least at first, because he knew there had to be some guys out there who didn't like Hitler or didn't want to be there, but HYDRA? Yeah, they all wanted this, and so he hadn't wasted time feeling sorry.] I can't get her to explain if she actually does, or if she just feels like she has to.
[Bucky sighs and tips his head back to thunk gently against the wall, because there's a third option that's kind of just incredibly fucking depressing to consider, even though it's probably true.]
Maybe she doesn't know.
[If he notices the extra close attention - and he does, sort of, even though he's a little distracted by everything else - he attributes it to what they're talking about, or the thing that comes next because, well. Yeah.]
I know. [He does, and he doesn't. No, there wasn't anything else he could do. He knows. He's lucky he got there at all, really, but it's still hard not to feel something in the wake of that.
The numbness that's settled in is familiar, and maybe not as concerning as it used to be. Which should probably be concerning in and of itself.]
Spam
[Bucky sighs and tips his head back to thunk gently against the wall, because there's a third option that's kind of just incredibly fucking depressing to consider, even though it's probably true.]
Maybe she doesn't know.
[If he notices the extra close attention - and he does, sort of, even though he's a little distracted by everything else - he attributes it to what they're talking about, or the thing that comes next because, well. Yeah.]
I know. [He does, and he doesn't. No, there wasn't anything else he could do. He knows. He's lucky he got there at all, really, but it's still hard not to feel something in the wake of that.
The numbness that's settled in is familiar, and maybe not as concerning as it used to be. Which should probably be concerning in and of itself.]