[That's all true - Bucky does know that. He just also knows that Ben doesn't know everything that happened to him, that there's no way he gets the full extent of all of it, and then there's just the fact that Ben never had a choice. Bucky can remember moments of something that could maybe have passed for clarity, where maybe if he'd fought harder, pushed more, been better-
Or he just could have given up and died. Why hadn't he done that?]
sometimes i could remember a little, when they'd leave me out for a couple weeks. i should have tried to get away.
[He'd tried once, he thinks. Hadn't worked out so well.]
[ Private : and Text on Bucky's probably indefinitely 8( ] also cw for brief suicidal thoughts
Or he just could have given up and died. Why hadn't he done that?]
sometimes i could remember a little, when they'd leave me out for a couple weeks. i should have tried to get away.
[He'd tried once, he thinks. Hadn't worked out so well.]