[Fuck. Fuck. He has no idea what to do in the face of such easy acceptance and forgiveness - is that even what it is, if she says it wasn't his fault? If, in fact, this was maybe for the best, because a different Winter Soldier could have killed Steve and helped HYDRA really win? Even the fact that she says him feeling like this was his fault is all that matters hurts in a way he doesn't know what to do with, and his vision blurs and suddenly clears as tears spill over and down his unshaven cheeks and chin.
It's embarrassing, and he swipes his right hand over his eyes quickly even as his left doesn't move from the table. He hasn't cried in a long, long time, and the idea of letting it out scares him, even as it becomes more and more obvious that he's not going to be able to stop it.
Bucky closes his eyes and lets out a shuddery, wet breath. His body trembles and he tries to hold himself firm even as everything starts shivering apart. His left hand twists gently on the table until he can wrap his cold fingers gently - so gently, because he knows what his hands are capable of and he really, really doesn't want to hurt her - around hers, just holding on, keeping some kind of solid presence for him to focus on as he drops his face into his right hand and everything starts to really crash down on him.]
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It's embarrassing, and he swipes his right hand over his eyes quickly even as his left doesn't move from the table. He hasn't cried in a long, long time, and the idea of letting it out scares him, even as it becomes more and more obvious that he's not going to be able to stop it.
Bucky closes his eyes and lets out a shuddery, wet breath. His body trembles and he tries to hold himself firm even as everything starts shivering apart. His left hand twists gently on the table until he can wrap his cold fingers gently - so gently, because he knows what his hands are capable of and he really, really doesn't want to hurt her - around hers, just holding on, keeping some kind of solid presence for him to focus on as he drops his face into his right hand and everything starts to really crash down on him.]