[Steve laughs a little weakly at that; no Bucky's exasperation isn't convincing, but neither is Steve's attempt at lying, and he knows it.
He never could lie to Bucky. It's why he generally doesn't try. If he's got something he doesn't want to say - and he does - he just doesn't even get close to the subject. Because the only kind of lying Steve Rogers has ever really been good at is lying by omission, and that's his only hope of keeping Bucky from finding out about everything Steve can't bear to tell him.
Unfortunately, that's a lot. And the size of that pile just makes him feel worse, with every passing day. And yet…
It's sort of amazing how Bucky can do that, can make him feel better without actually knowing what's wrong in the first place. Because that's exactly what he's just done, and Steve is actually a little floored. It's not that he didn't know those things, it's not that they didn't say 'till the end of the line and mean it. But… it's just, he hasn't actually heard those words, I'm with you, in years. He's even doubted them, in recent history. He woke up after that fight on the helicarrier, and maybe actions speak louder than words, because he hadn't expected to wake up. But he did - except it was without Bucky, and even though, deep down, he knew that there was no question - he'd chase Bucky to the ends of the Earth, to make what went wrong right again - there was still doubt. Doubt that it was the best thing for Bucky. Because Steve knows what he wants. He wants his best friend - his family - back. But if that's not what Bucky wanted…
So maybe just hearing it is - well, it's not absolution. Nothing ever will be, not even from Bucky himself. But it's bolstering. It's telling him he's decided to do the right thing. It makes things a little easier. Not much, because it's going to be hard. But enough to count.
So if Bucky wants Steve to be okay, well, he's at least taken a step in that direction. He relaxes a little, under Bucky's grip, and he nods, moving to put his hand on Bucky's knee.] Well, I've always been with you. Always will be. [Always. Even when you don't know it.
But he tries to just forget about that, for a minute. He laughs, softly.] And I've been scuffed up plenty of times, so I think I'll let it slide, this once.
[Although even in the dark, he can kind of see the lines of strain around Bucky's eyes.] Speaking of, [and he's not even really trying to change the subject, but this is important, too,] how are you holding up? [Because… sorry, pal, but you look like you're in pain a lot. And he doesn't like that.]
Spam
He never could lie to Bucky. It's why he generally doesn't try. If he's got something he doesn't want to say - and he does - he just doesn't even get close to the subject. Because the only kind of lying Steve Rogers has ever really been good at is lying by omission, and that's his only hope of keeping Bucky from finding out about everything Steve can't bear to tell him.
Unfortunately, that's a lot. And the size of that pile just makes him feel worse, with every passing day. And yet…
It's sort of amazing how Bucky can do that, can make him feel better without actually knowing what's wrong in the first place. Because that's exactly what he's just done, and Steve is actually a little floored. It's not that he didn't know those things, it's not that they didn't say 'till the end of the line and mean it. But… it's just, he hasn't actually heard those words, I'm with you, in years. He's even doubted them, in recent history. He woke up after that fight on the helicarrier, and maybe actions speak louder than words, because he hadn't expected to wake up. But he did - except it was without Bucky, and even though, deep down, he knew that there was no question - he'd chase Bucky to the ends of the Earth, to make what went wrong right again - there was still doubt. Doubt that it was the best thing for Bucky. Because Steve knows what he wants. He wants his best friend - his family - back. But if that's not what Bucky wanted…
So maybe just hearing it is - well, it's not absolution. Nothing ever will be, not even from Bucky himself. But it's bolstering. It's telling him he's decided to do the right thing. It makes things a little easier. Not much, because it's going to be hard. But enough to count.
So if Bucky wants Steve to be okay, well, he's at least taken a step in that direction. He relaxes a little, under Bucky's grip, and he nods, moving to put his hand on Bucky's knee.] Well, I've always been with you. Always will be. [Always. Even when you don't know it.
But he tries to just forget about that, for a minute. He laughs, softly.] And I've been scuffed up plenty of times, so I think I'll let it slide, this once.
[Although even in the dark, he can kind of see the lines of strain around Bucky's eyes.] Speaking of, [and he's not even really trying to change the subject, but this is important, too,] how are you holding up? [Because… sorry, pal, but you look like you're in pain a lot. And he doesn't like that.]