[There's no way for Bucky to know - and if Steve gets his way, he'll never know. Steve can't do that to him. He can't let Bucky know what happens, how it all goes to hell, and all because Steve didn't push hard enough to go look for him.
He'll never know, maybe, how long Bucky laid in the snow. If it was minutes, or hours, or days… He has to believe it was long enough that someone could have gone back for him. That's just the way this guilt works, after all.
Either way… being Captain America is all he has left. Honestly, at this point, it's a little bit of an escape, because while he's Captain America, while he's working, he doesn't have to sit alone in his apartment and think about everything that went wrong. Captain America is an escape he's been using since… well, since they woke him up, and for what time he had left, before he froze. He knows it - that's the worst part. And he's the one who always said if you started running, you'd never stop. Maybe that's what he's doing. Maybe that's why he's here. Because he's started running, and he doesn't know what to do when he stops.
He doesn't move - Bucky hasn't released him, and Steve's not about to go anywhere. He doesn't really want to, not even to get that glass of water. So he just holds himself steady, right where he is, shaking his head when Bucky apologizes. There's nothing to apologize for. Not even waking him up.
Besides, he knows Bucky's lying, too, when he says he's fine. You don't grow up in one another's back pockets, practically, without knowing when the other guy's not okay. But Steve's not about to call him on it, either.]
What, for letting Zane do that to you? [Steve knows - knows - that's not what Bucky means. But he can't help it, he plays dumb, because he just… he's not sure how to answer the real question. Because the answer he'd want to give is also a lie.] It would've been nice if I could've been there to watch your back.
[He didn't make it out of that fight with the Joker unscathed. He was just lucky enough that the most visible of it had healed, hadn't been obvious anymore by the time he'd made it to the infirmary to give Bucky a hand.]
Spam indeed ;;
He'll never know, maybe, how long Bucky laid in the snow. If it was minutes, or hours, or days… He has to believe it was long enough that someone could have gone back for him. That's just the way this guilt works, after all.
Either way… being Captain America is all he has left. Honestly, at this point, it's a little bit of an escape, because while he's Captain America, while he's working, he doesn't have to sit alone in his apartment and think about everything that went wrong. Captain America is an escape he's been using since… well, since they woke him up, and for what time he had left, before he froze. He knows it - that's the worst part. And he's the one who always said if you started running, you'd never stop. Maybe that's what he's doing. Maybe that's why he's here. Because he's started running, and he doesn't know what to do when he stops.
He doesn't move - Bucky hasn't released him, and Steve's not about to go anywhere. He doesn't really want to, not even to get that glass of water. So he just holds himself steady, right where he is, shaking his head when Bucky apologizes. There's nothing to apologize for. Not even waking him up.
Besides, he knows Bucky's lying, too, when he says he's fine. You don't grow up in one another's back pockets, practically, without knowing when the other guy's not okay. But Steve's not about to call him on it, either.]
What, for letting Zane do that to you? [Steve knows - knows - that's not what Bucky means. But he can't help it, he plays dumb, because he just… he's not sure how to answer the real question. Because the answer he'd want to give is also a lie.] It would've been nice if I could've been there to watch your back.
[He didn't make it out of that fight with the Joker unscathed. He was just lucky enough that the most visible of it had healed, hadn't been obvious anymore by the time he'd made it to the infirmary to give Bucky a hand.]