[It's far from the first time Steve's had to wake him up from a nightmare, and it probably won't be the last time, either. Sometimes, he mumbles his name, rank and serial number over and over again, and sometimes he just wakes up with a terrified gasp, like it's the tail end or very beginning of a panicked scream, but this is different, because Zola's hands are reaching forward and trying to pry off his face and-
Bucky wakes up quickly, not quite choking on a scream, but coming close, and half sits up before he realizes that's a bad idea. His right arm does crash into Steve, but instead of slapping him or shoving him away or God knows what else, he winds up holding onto him for support with a grip that's probably painful. Breathing hurts, and sitting up hurts, but apparently not enough to get him to flop back down just yet. Instead, Bucky takes a couple shaky gasps of air and finally slowly glances over at Steve with a look that says he's not really sure if he's there or not.]
Steve? [Bucky's eyes dart around the room, like he just needs a second to be able to see that yes, he's safe, he's not trapped there again, and only then does some of the tension start to drain out of him.
But - absurdly, because this is so not fucking happening - there's a moment where he almost just wants to scream, or cry, or hit something, because he is so fucking tired of revisiting it, of worrying about the consequences, of not being able to talk about it with anyone because he doesn't want to deal with the fact that he was tortured and experimented on like a goddamn animal. He's so tired of this, of living with it and feeling like there's no real escape from it.
Bucky lets out a shaky breath and winces when his ribs protest, squeezing his eyes shut.]
Spam wow dw what is wrong today :|a
Bucky wakes up quickly, not quite choking on a scream, but coming close, and half sits up before he realizes that's a bad idea. His right arm does crash into Steve, but instead of slapping him or shoving him away or God knows what else, he winds up holding onto him for support with a grip that's probably painful. Breathing hurts, and sitting up hurts, but apparently not enough to get him to flop back down just yet. Instead, Bucky takes a couple shaky gasps of air and finally slowly glances over at Steve with a look that says he's not really sure if he's there or not.]
Steve? [Bucky's eyes dart around the room, like he just needs a second to be able to see that yes, he's safe, he's not trapped there again, and only then does some of the tension start to drain out of him.
But - absurdly, because this is so not fucking happening - there's a moment where he almost just wants to scream, or cry, or hit something, because he is so fucking tired of revisiting it, of worrying about the consequences, of not being able to talk about it with anyone because he doesn't want to deal with the fact that he was tortured and experimented on like a goddamn animal. He's so tired of this, of living with it and feeling like there's no real escape from it.
Bucky lets out a shaky breath and winces when his ribs protest, squeezing his eyes shut.]
Fuck.